Gratitude

It has been 4 years since my write-up on ‘broken - heart management’. Wow! It felt like it was just yesterday that I went through a broken- heart and reached out to others in the process of my own healing!

Friends, I am a much stronger person now, thanks to Allah Almighty, for loving me even though I have done many wrong things in life, thanks to allthe the positive people who encouraged me, my pet sister, Azliza Abdul Rahman, she was there for me all the time during my good and bad, my spiritual leader. Jamizan Jalaluddin, for her compassion and caring, for guiding me spiritually as well. My supervisor Prof Allan Whitfield, who understood the challenges of personal problems that I went through, and went on to say, “ Siti, you are a dynamic person, and you don’t know that just yet” , which has a tremendous impact of my believe system today. Simone Taffe, for being there for me to listen to my troubles and believing in me that I am able and capable. Dr Ruslan Abdul Rahim, my mentor ever since my college days until today, he knows just the right words to encourage me and prodded me into the right direction.

Prof Dr. Ahmad Zainuddin, who believed that I am a capable person, my psychologist in Swinburne University of Technology, for Helen Kalaboukas, who had listened to my sorrows and helped me tremendously in the process of my healing! It was good crying –out every time! Helen made me realize that I am a good person and that I deserve all the good things in life. Thank you for showing me the power of self-affirmation, It was indeed a powerful tool to put self-confidence back in me. It helped me decide to do positive things to help me overcome my hurt and pain, and most of all, overcoming my FEAR of not being able to love again!

Thanks to my dad, Abdul Razak Mohd Nur, even though we had rough times in our father-daughter relationship during my growing up and teenage years until recently that we have decided to build a new relationship. We missed that crucial years of building trust and love in order for me to develop as a whole person. I hope that we are able to maintain our good relationship in the years to come. Thank you to my cousins, Sharon, Adrian, and Charlie Menezes, for keeping the ties between us, and made me realize that my late mothers side of the family are all by my side, either in their thoughts and heart. Thanks to my family in Melbourne especially Nanny, who shared with me the stories of her lifetime, and shared with me who my real mother was.

To my half brother Jason Om, who is now residing in Adelaide, you made me feel closer to our late mother, thank you for accepting me as your sister even though of our different beliefs. I am always here for you and looking forward to seeing you again in your next trip to Malaysia. Thank You Aunt Helena and Uncle John, for your concern and love, you made me feel closer to my late mother as well. To cousin Mark, who helped me in his own way while I was in Melbourne, thank you for sharing and accompany me during my times of sadness. And Daniel, even though we are not able to meet as often, it was good to know that we have that strong family bond each and every time we get to meet.

Thank you to the rest of my fathers’ side of the family, aunts and uncles who have indeed played an important role in the process of me being where I am today. Despite of our differences in values and way of thinking, I know that someday, we will be able to forgive one another for our shortcomings. Thank you also to all the people who have crossed my path, I have learned something valuable from each and every one of you.

I would also like to thank the authors of the books that I have read, Sussan Jeffers, ( Feel the fear and do it anyway, The Feel The Fear Guide to Long Lasting Love) Daniel Goleman, ( Emotional Intelligence, Working With Emotional Intelligence, The New Leader) John Maxwell,( Developing The Leader In You, Developing Leaders Around You, Failing Forward, Thinking For a Change, 25 Ways with People, Cassettes – Change The Peoples Response, Why Not Do What You would Like to Do?, Mistakes I’ve Made, Lessons I’ve Learned,) Sue Minns, ( Soul Mate), Gary Chapman ( Four Seasons of Marriage), Dr Fadhilah Kamsah (cassettes). Mc Nally & Speak ( Be Your Own Brand).
The books that I have read and cassettes I have listened to continuously motivates me when I am feeling low, they were always there for me whenever I needed them.

The most important thing that I have learned in the process of becoming the person that I want to be is to believe in my self despite what other people say and think about me. I believed that I was able to spring back into life and spread the positive to others. I believed that I am a good person, despite of the fact that some may think that I am not. I believed that I am here for a purpose and through the process of self-discovery I realized that my purpose in life is to help others be the best they can be.

Some people may think that I am different, and YES, I am proud to say that I am unique and different in my own way, the way I approach to life, the way I think, my values and my practice. I want to be different, I want to stand out from the crowd, I am a different but an ordinary person who doesn’t have much to offer other than my friendship and experience in life to others who value the importance of personal growth and the benefits of life long learning.

I have my share of story to tell, in a positive light, in the hope that I am able to stir and move you in a positive direction, to take charge of your self, to make better decisions in your life, to constantly build that inner strength.

People who came across me who listened to the story of my life often wonder how I was able to be strong and resilient in facing the challenge of life. More often than not the remarks that I get is “but you look and sound so confident and sure of yourself”. Some friends have voiced out their amazement in my ability to handle such difficult situation. I sometimes am amazed with myself as well. Only when I hear their applause then I realized I was much more than I think I was.

I’ve come a long way. My traumatic childhood and turbulent teenage years have had a great impact in shaping the way I think and the way I feel about people and life. I’m blessed for having the curious mind of wanting to know why I became the person I was back then.

Daniel Goleman helped me understand my strengths and weaknesses, and I realized that my childhood and teenage experiences helped me to develop my emotional intelligence. I began to look at my past experiences in a positive way, I understood the relevance of the sad stories of my life is actually helping me become a person who is emotionally intelligent. I was so happy to know that I am able to demonstrate EQ that I wrote him an email to personally thank him for showing me what a special person I was. Just to test whether I am able to get a response from the best selling author, he replied soon after. That made me realize that I am able, that I can do it.

John Maxwell taught me to develop the leader in myself, by becoming a person of positive influence, and helped me see that the ultimate thing that a person could ever achieve in his living years is to help develop others become leaders as well.

I listened to his cassette, “Why not do what you would like to do?”, every now and then, which gave me the courage to start my own writing. Hence, the birth of this blog site. Some day, I will write on the story of my life, my aim is to help empower those who have similar experiences but just don’t know how to overcome it and develop personal growth.

Sussan Jeffers helped me overcome my fears. I have lived in fear almost three quarter my lifetime. This fear is a result of low-self esteem and lack of self-confidence because of negative inputs during my childhood development. Susan was very helpful and when I had some problems recently, I sent her an email. I was confident that she would reply. And she did. The result, she pointed me to help my self to one of her book, “The Feel The Fear Guide To Lasting Love”. This book talked about “picking up the mirror instead of the magnifying glass”. She also mentioned that I need to improve on a certain aspect of my self, which I quickly vowed to do just that. I was lucky that MPH bookstore had only one copy left. The book is in my possession now. For those who have problems with your relationship, you must get hold of this book! But you also must be ready to do some changes in yourself in order to make your relationship work.

I am blessed that I have so many people to look up to in the process of becoming the person I want to be. I am that person now. I want to help others who want to help themselves be a better person through self-discovery, tapping into their personal growth.
I believe everyone has the potential to be a successful person in whatever they do. The only thing that stops them from becoming one is their mindset and attitude.

If you want to be a better person, follow those who have been to the path of personal growth and self-discovery. Open your mind and heart to the knowledge of empowering your self, unleashing your true potential in becoming successful in life.

Chose to be good. Chose to be the model for others. Chose to be YOU.